I have two weeks left of school. Well only one, if you want to be technical, because after this week comes the dreaded finals. Where has the year gone??
As my sophomore year of college comes to an end, I have found myself thinking a lot. I've been experienced two mind sets; the "oh my gosh its almost summer I'm so excited and next year is going to be great!" mindset versus the "holy crap I only get two more weeks with these people and next year is going to be WAY different" mindset. It's been tough because most of the time I think about the fun stuff, but then I stop myself and my mind wanders to things like change, and life, and how everything will soon be very different.
I'm not a big fan of change. I can handle it most of the time, I can tolerate it, but that doesn't mean I like it. Being a creature of habit, I thoroughly enjoy my routines and rituals and when these get thrown off by any degree of change I get slightly uncomfortable. Thinking about all of the things that will be different next year makes me excited, but it is after all change, so I am also wary.
But thats life, isn't it? Life is encountering change to further who you are. If you avoided change your whole life you would be nowhere. You would be at home, with no schooling, no job, no social life, nada. Change may be hard, but it gets you places. It takes you on a journey to a more exciting and vivacious life. If I avoided change I would not be anywhere close to where I am today.
So while I do fight with these two mindsets, I have come to terms with the fact that I am feeling both ways. My adventurous side is saying "Melissa, this is a new chapter of your life and its going to be awesome!" and my cautious, comfort-seeking side is saying "AHH CHANGE!!". Thats okay, though, because those are both a part of who I am.
So, for now I am planning on finishing off the school year strong. I am planning on soaking up as much of this chapter of my life I can, including seeing friends that I may not see as much next year and jumping in the pool every day at our apartment complex. Soon these things will change, but thats just a part of life. Luckily, I can know and trust that God is guiding me on my life journey, and that next year will be infinitely more fun, crazy, and spirit-filled than anything I could've hoped for.
I will embrace the change, and with a smile on my face no less! :)
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
-C. Joybell C.
